So, as some of you know, Greg has been on vacation for the past 3 days. Which has been….weird. I was planning on getting caught up on orders, which kinda never happened, since Greg likes to hold Gory BEHIND me or NEXT TO ME as I sew. Which is counter-productive.

I digress.

So Greg likes to stay up late, and he did last night, same as any other day. Well, I woke up this morning, got Evan up, and headed out with him to school. Greg had spent the night on the couch (our bed sucks, and makes our backs hurt, but that is another story for another time….) and I told him to go into OUR bed, so he could hear Gory when he woke up. The monitor is in there. He would hear him….RIGHT!?!?!?!?!?!

Well, I get back from dropping Evan off, and CANNOT find Greg. He is not n our bed, not in Evan’s bed, not anywhere! So I peek into Gory’s room, and wow. There is Greg, sleeping on the floor next to Gory’s crib. Which, sadly enough, is NOT out of the ordinary. It happens maybe once of twice a week, my husband is a weird one.

So I went about my morning stuff, answer e-mails, ect. Then I laid on the bed, to work on some graphics, and dozed off. Next thing I know, Greg is SCREAMING at me to call 911!!!  Greg does not scream, and for CHRISTSAKES he is a marine! He is cool under pressure, and fought in IRAQ FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!! So I scramble for my phone, and ask him what happened. Apparently somehow Gory ATE about half of our industrial sized tub of Aquaphor (this Vaseline type stuff that we use for his eczema). I stare at him, put down the phone, and ask him how in the HELL did he do THAT!?!?!?!?  I called poison control, and the conversation went like this:

Poison control, can I help you?

Yes, my 1 year old just ate Aquaphor. I am not sure if my husband FED it to him, or what the deal is, but there is residue in his mouth, hair, face, and all over the room.

Did your husband feed it to him with a spoon?

**yelling to Greg to confirm that he has NOT done that**

Well, then, he might have the runs for a few days, but other then that, there is nothing to worry about.


**bores holes into Greg’s face**

Now, here is where I go into a tangent. I mean, come on. I am the mon that turned away, and Gory dumped OXYCLEAN into his face! Holy cow! Who am I to judge him? Me, of all the bad parents!!!!

But, here is the thing, I was mad because I KNOW how it happened. Greg was really tired. I mean, it takes the man a full hour to function most mornings. He is BAD, the guy loves his sleep! So what happened, is that he was laying there, Gory woke up, and in his sleepy-stupor, Greg thought that if he took Gory OUT of his crib, and laid with him ON THE FLOOR…..Gory would go back to sleep until GREG was ready to get up. Which would be like…..2pm. So of course Gory was like HEY! Not only did Daddy get me this morning, but he is letting me play in my room! And scooted to his bookshelf, and grabbed the fun, gooey Aquaphor.

**rolls eyes**

How many of you have had similar experiences? Come on, spill it…..


9 thoughts on “OH NO AQUAPHOR!

  1. oh, I am so so SO trying not to laugh… (and also making a mental note that Aquafor will not kill my child… good to know for future reference) and while I can’t currently think of anything that even comes close to this in our 14 months of parenthood so far, there have definitely been the “great ideas” that didn’t work out so well for us – and yes, usually they were in an attempt to get more sleep or just a little food – they just haven’t resulted in screaming for 911 calls … YET. 😉

    oh wait… does “leaving your sleeping baby in bed with your half-(read practically dead-asleep) sleeping husband so you can get ready for work for just a FEW minutes without a baby in your arms, and said baby wakes up crawling and takes a header off the bed” count?? because I’ve done that… twice. okay, okay, the second time – it was on MY watch – hubs was watching TV downstairs… I was sleeping, baby flip-flop/crawled her way towards the end of the bed – and then OFF. again. nice. I’m sure there are other similar tales in my experience, but right now, I’m blocking them from my memory in an attempt to assuage my guilt 🙂

  2. Hilarious! I could totally see my husband sleeping through something like this too! He always claims that our son “sleeps in” when he is with him on a rare morning, but I think the baby just gives in and goes back to sleep! By the way, we purchased a temper pedic mattress a couple of years ago and it is AMAZING! totally expensive, but worth it.

  3. LOL! Yep, we have done that. Greg let Gory take a few headers off the bed before I decided that in order for me to shower while he was still sleeping, I better bring Gory INOT the shower WITH ME! Oy….

  4. Woah, if only all this lessons I’m learning would mean I wouldn’t be repeating any mistakes… sadly, the day both G & me become parents it’ll probably be even worse, cause yeah, G also sleeps like a log!

    You poor thing, Brookers… if only Gory liked to sleep as much as Greg does!

  5. Brooke! so far my kids haven’t really eaten anything nuts and my husband NEVER has kid duty….BUT……..”I” personally have eaten ants, horse-hair plaster, toilet paper, a bar of ivory soap, dog food and bones, etc, etc…..
    AND I’ve dumped a bucket of ammonia in my eyes when I was little too!(my mom’s a nurse…how embarrassing!)
    I’m just fine(well……I’m ALIVE!)LOL!
    One day you’ll look back on all of this and laugh your butt off!
    Until then…..just know that you may have a little “Karyl” on your hands!
    (I made my neighbor stick a twig somewhere…..well…he was a boy….you draw your own conclusions!LOL!)
    If you get through it(and you will)…be proud…cuz you ROCK!

  6. I am so glad I wasn’t drinking anything particularly acidic when I first read this, as that would have burned my nose.
    I mean, no, it isn’t funny as much as well, tragically hilarious. *hugs*
    you are my “already has boys” mentor.

  7. Pingback: Tweets that mention OH NO AQUAPHOR! « Brooke Van Gory Designs -- Topsy.com

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