So, as some of you know, Greg has been on vacation for the past 3 days. Which has been….weird. I was planning on getting caught up on orders, which kinda never happened, since Greg likes to hold Gory BEHIND me or NEXT TO ME as I sew. Which is counter-productive.
So Greg likes to stay up late, and he did last night, same as any other day. Well, I woke up this morning, got Evan up, and headed out with him to school. Greg had spent the night on the couch (our bed sucks, and makes our backs hurt, but that is another story for another time….) and I told him to go into OUR bed, so he could hear Gory when he woke up. The monitor is in there. He would hear him….RIGHT!?!?!?!?!?!
Well, I get back from dropping Evan off, and CANNOT find Greg. He is not n our bed, not in Evan’s bed, not anywhere! So I peek into Gory’s room, and wow. There is Greg, sleeping on the floor next to Gory’s crib. Which, sadly enough, is NOT out of the ordinary. It happens maybe once of twice a week, my husband is a weird one.
So I went about my morning stuff, answer e-mails, ect. Then I laid on the bed, to work on some graphics, and dozed off. Next thing I know, Greg is SCREAMING at me to call 911!!! Greg does not scream, and for CHRISTSAKES he is a marine! He is cool under pressure, and fought in IRAQ FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!! So I scramble for my phone, and ask him what happened. Apparently somehow Gory ATE about half of our industrial sized tub of Aquaphor (this Vaseline type stuff that we use for his eczema). I stare at him, put down the phone, and ask him how in the HELL did he do THAT!?!?!?!? I called poison control, and the conversation went like this:
Poison control, can I help you?
Yes, my 1 year old just ate Aquaphor. I am not sure if my husband FED it to him, or what the deal is, but there is residue in his mouth, hair, face, and all over the room.
Did your husband feed it to him with a spoon?
**yelling to Greg to confirm that he has NOT done that**
Well, then, he might have the runs for a few days, but other then that, there is nothing to worry about.
**bores holes into Greg’s face**
Now, here is where I go into a tangent. I mean, come on. I am the mon that turned away, and Gory dumped OXYCLEAN into his face! Holy cow! Who am I to judge him? Me, of all the bad parents!!!!
But, here is the thing, I was mad because I KNOW how it happened. Greg was really tired. I mean, it takes the man a full hour to function most mornings. He is BAD, the guy loves his sleep! So what happened, is that he was laying there, Gory woke up, and in his sleepy-stupor, Greg thought that if he took Gory OUT of his crib, and laid with him ON THE FLOOR…..Gory would go back to sleep until GREG was ready to get up. Which would be like…..2pm. So of course Gory was like HEY! Not only did Daddy get me this morning, but he is letting me play in my room! And scooted to his bookshelf, and grabbed the fun, gooey Aquaphor.
How many of you have had similar experiences? Come on, spill it…..